Understanding Our Haves
You hear comparisons about the “haves” and “have-nots.” Thinking about this further, what becomes the core element in these types of comparisons? It is often a comparison about stuff. The material things one may have or have access to that another feels they may not ever get to have. Not the core elements of survival, the other things. The stuff which people may desire, envy, or confuse the line between want and need. We all are beings who “have”. You have many incredible things by just being a human being. You “have” ability to communicate, to love, to care, to learn. You “have” the power of making choices, sharing your time, being the “have” in someone else’s life. Why then do you allow yourself to be judged by some material crap? Better yet, why do you feel that you would be some magically different person if you had the material crap? If you want to have some cool material things in your life, great, go for it. I have had some awesome things and experiences and OK; it is quite awesome. But if suddenly all the stuff is gone, you and your “haves” are what carries you forward. From traveling this path of reflection, it took me a while to come to the conclusion; status symbol items are not the core of who someone is and having them is not how one’s identity should be defined. They are just choices in how one may reward themselves for hard work and effort. Our lives are enriched with “Haves”. Do not let the fancy stuff not yet reachable pull you down into the “have not” mode. It can be tough to think this way as you see the fancy car you want driving through the parking lot. When those times come up, consider using the magic word YET. Yet allows you to embrace the idea there are things that are possible. Yet can allow you to see something as obtainable. There are days where you may have the urge to dwell on the “have nots”. It is normal and happens to all of us from time to time. When this happens, consider making a list of all the things you do “have.” You would be surprised how quickly you regain your belief in how much you do have and have to give.
Walking Your Why
The above was a statement I heard as someone was describing a meeting they had with another business owner. It was an alternate way of saying “explaining their business.” It is stronger in significant ways. How often does the question come up as you are talking to people related to how you got into business? You hear some of the standard reasons; being a good opportunity, or they knew someone. You may hear a few that are related to growing up in the business or it being passed down in the family. You have a few folks that start off with the “that’s a funny story…” Is there more to the why of what you do over just what you do? Is there the feeling of a calling, a purpose, and energy you just know is present when you are working? This is the “why” they were referring to. There is purpose well beyond the title on the card. It is the story of the story, and it is awesome when you feel the passion in telling it. The best part is being able to share the Why. Walking the Why is a great way to tell the story of the purpose and passion in your work, your trade, your craft. There is absolutely nothing wrong with “walking the way” when you meet someone and they ask about what you do. If they do not value and appreciate your why, will they value or appreciate anything else you have to provide to them? It is true; some people just are not into wanting to hear the stories. You wonder if they just have never been able to capture their passion and walk their why.
The Employee’s Master Plan
It becomes interesting when you stand back and watch versus the urge to push and judge. This particular moment, it was worth the stand back and watch. Let me set this up for you. It is morning, and I guess the store has been open for less than a half hour. Walking in, the greeting bellows from behind the counter and a mild-mannered young man is not smiling, but he is not at all rude either. On approaching the counter, and being the only person in the store, it becomes noticeable he is judging his day as “not going well.” I would guess there should be another staff member there to help him who has not shown up yet. As I start to order, he begins to elaborate on the troubled look on his face. His toasting oven is not working, and he is re-setting it. He is not even sure if it will work when it comes up but he needs a few minutes. At this point, another person walks in to order. Figured it is time to let the show of “choices” begin. I tell him I will wait, and he should go ahead and help this young woman. She orders. The oven does end up working and looks like his day is turning around. Of course, she had to wait for the re-booting of the toaster which she just rolled her eyes about. Then we get to the register and…… credit card machine is not working. He asks if she has cash. The look of frustration on her face was par for the course, because certainly this was the master plan of the employee all along, to screw with her day like this. She says she will be back and goes out the door to her car. At this time, I proceed with ordering. My challenges seemed less and less significant as I watched this guy try just to cope. Some other people walked in. He greets them and advises that he can only take cash at the moment. They acknowledge and begin to order. Then the lady comes back in. Now she brought her attitude with her as well to help out. She shoves the money at him, says there you go, grabs her bags and shakes her head as she rushes out of the store. The employee certainly set out to destroy her morning, and it worked perfectly. I bet you he told the other employee not to show up, deprogrammed the oven, and changed the credit card access codes just to feel good about having to mess with all the guests. Now as he goes to finish my order, the other guests decide just to walk out of the store after he already started on their sandwiches, laying out the bread at least. They do not even say anything to him, just waited until he turned around, then quickly left. At this point, I am behind on my schedule a little, but it was worth watching how people can quickly judge others when not taking the time to see what they may be going through first. I gave the guy a smile and said: “Hey man, I hope your day gets better for you.” The look on his face was one of disbelief, and if a counter did not separate us, I think he would have hugged me. He just said, “Wow, thank you for that.” I am sure his day improved from there on. Side note. The picture I am using in the blog was up near the front of the workstation. Has it come to needing a sign like this to remind people just to say hello to others? Ouch Humanity! That hurts. Side Note II. The former me, the one who selfishly often looked at my human condition before considering any others, would have been rude and stormed out as well. I like having the awareness guide me now. It takes time to modify behavior, but it is well worth it.
Destination….NORMAL
What is it with that word and how it makes people feel? You are reading this on some electronic device correct? Realize, the persons who helped create the core elements of harnessing this technology were considered “not normal.” They may have been innovators, outsiders, non-conformists, rebels (some computer folks just roared in excitement). If so many amazing things happen when people are thinking differently, why then do we place such solace in having a place we conform to as normal? When words such as normal and average hang out together, they go down to the Hum-Drum for a pizza and talk about how wonderfully planned out life is. Hats off to the ones who can achieve this. There are a few times each day where a dreamer, creator, or creative thinker wonders what life may be like on that side of the fence for them. If you are developing and starting a new career or business venture, you may even look at the “normals” with some degree of envy when the challenges and issues of time management go into chaos. Many folks in the creator camp find themselves internally fighting against and yet striving for some level of normal in their lives. I have some pretty good first-hand knowledge on this battle. In my case, it is an epic battle in my mind of wanting just to be myself and the fictional people who try to determine what version of me, I should be. This thought process violates a great rule of personal development; do not judge yourself by what others think of you. My violations of this rule are extensive but improving. Do not consider yourself alone if you have broken this rule before. Your mind has a way to create all of this imagery, valid or not. What do you do to manage these feelings? Consider this. When we define this destination normal, we (referring to creators and dreamers) tend to see it as something far out there. If the thought of getting to normal, or normal again, feels like several states away on the highway of life; consider making all the rest stops and tourist traps part of your normal. Let some of the smaller stops and accomplishments along the journey create feelings of normal. After all, when you get to destination normal, as a creator you may just find it does not live up to the expectation you had. Stopping at little normals for breaks allows you to evaluate and potentially reflect. So what if you are not normal? You are YOU! The question is: are you the best YOU you can be? There is nothing wrong with BEing Ordinary either, just be Extraordinary at doing it.
Going The Wrong Way?
How often do people try to tell us, beg us, share with us vital information about the directions and actions we are taking? We can quickly discredit these people because they just do not get us or understand our business model. As this clip illustrates, if you are not listening, you could miss some chances to adjust and change. When someone challenges us, the defense wall goes up. Your defense wall may cause selective hearing, just how they react in this classic movie scene. “They said we are going the wrong way.” “Oh they are drunk….how do they know which way we are going.” Never be so quick to judge a suggestion and brush it off. The ideas and suggestions that pop into your mind just after you hear a commercial, overhear a conversation in a check out line, or even reading a blog that popped up while you were on social media are examples of these messages. It could be a message which just not found the proper way to get your attention, YET. Even things like a movie clip can catch you at the right time; when you need to think about the direction you are taking.
Adapting Level-MASTER
This picture was taken by a friend of mine in Texas. He had posted it for the humor . I had to add some humor myself when looking at it. You wonder if the person that owns and operates this stand was ever interviewed before. “How did you start your business?” “Well, sir, life just kinda handed this to me and I made the best of it.” If it were this easy. Then again, maybe it is. If I am trying to open a jar and I squawk out loud “this lid is never going to come off,” somehow that lid starts to hold on even tighter. I may after a long struggle get it to come off but it put up a heck of a fight. If I had gone into the process with a different attitude about how I will find a way to get the lid off, would it have been easier? Who knows. Your frustration level would have been better which can only improve your situation and attitude on finding the best solution. The adage using lemons about making the best of a situation over complaining about it is some pretty sound advice. When we fight and bitch and argue our way toward a task, it may turn into a challenge after all. Making a mountain out of a mole hill, if we want to stay in classic lines. When people can master the art of being flexible and adapting to challenges, solutions just seem to come their way. Not a bad way to live overall.
Amplify Your Influence Blog…. Money
Angles… Some different takes in the world of home improvement.
By Jeff and Connie Cutler, Colts Simple Stuff Services. “But it looks blue.” “Well, it was grey in the store, and you picked it out first.” “Now we cannot even take it back, because it just had to be a custom color.” As you can figure this back and forth between spouses, partners, long -time friends, or roommates will continue to devolve to some stalemate of color. From there, we see a wall or room painted that one party cringes looking at every day and hold as an argument talking point for years to come. Or there is a full paint can, no walls painted, a reminder that $50 or so was invested into an idea that just did not work out. So, what on earth happened? You picked out colors at the store on the little cards. You liked how it looked. You even took the little card home and taped it to the wall, backed up a few feet and said “yes!”. There is no judgement in how you went through the process, however, let us add a few additional steps to see if it can help. Yes, those color chips are great ways to get an “idea” of what you like. Taking them home is a great idea as well. However, you are looking at how a little two-inch square looks on a ten foot wall. Once the wall is covered in that same color, the look may become totally different. This is why some stores have 8×10 sample sheets of the colors that self-stick so you can get a better feel for the color. If they don’t have that consider buying a little sample of the color you are thinking, then paint it on a piece of paper or even white cardboard and use it like the self-stick ones. You also want to make a final decision after you have had it up there a few days. Why??? Well different light can change how the paint looks, different times of day can change how it looks as well. When you are in the store, you are only seeing those chips and samples under one type of light, and that light is rarely the same lighting that would be in your home. Lastly, all paint chips have different shades used a base color. However, you often cannot really tell from the chip card what the true base color is. If you take a piece of bright white paper and put it behind the chip card, you will see the true base color in the paint. This is where what seemed like a shade of grey, now you can see it has a blue base they are making grey, therefore when on the wall in natural sunlight what you thought was a grey came out with a blue tint. The white paper idea will show almost every base color and may prevent many disappointing results. Which brings us to the angle. If we don’t take the time to look at the base of our relationships with people, hence clearing out all the background issues and challenges to see the pure base of the love and character they have, will the relationship with them truly be the colorful one you look forward to seeing every day?